Finding the Positive in the Midst of Pain

When we are hurt and in pain because of a personal relationship, it may seem impossible to see the positive of our situation. After time, we can usually reflect on these painful experiences, understanding them for what they are in hindsight, as we have learned and grown as a result of what we went through. The issue of whether we learn and grow together with the other person depends upon the level of commitment to maintaining and strengthening the relationship from both sides.

Life gives us troubles sometimes from which we may not see a way out. When we are in the middle of the turmoil, pain, suffering, and challenges, it can be difficult to see the positive of the situation. I share with you that today I am in pain over a relationship I have with a loved one and if we cannot figure out a way to work through this, it may be the end of our relationship. That idea makes me very sad and deep down I honestly never imagined that this person would not be in my life. But today I am faced with this very real possibility as I am in the middle of it all.

I know that the timing of this is no accident. My committal to participating in this positive blogging experiment at the same time I am hurting is no coincidence, just as my journey as the Spirited Strider has given me insight into the synchronicities of life along the way.

So I know there is a deeper purpose to what is happening between this person and me. As my goal has been to act in love and be love to others, I am also very conscious of the fact that I need to love myself enough in order to extend it outward as well.

So today, I love myself enough to know that I need to focus on the positive, even though I am sad and hurting, and terrified of the idea of losing this person. I love myself enough to make an attempt to shift these feelings of fear, abandonment, betrayal and hurt to feelings of hope, faith, love, acceptance and understanding. The shift is necessary for me to be able to see and focus on the positive. And there is much to be positive about this relationship!

This person is a wonderful friend. Friendship is beautiful and life is really all about the personal relationships we have. A rich, full life is one that is filled with deep, meaningful relationships. I am so blessed to have this type of relationship with my friend.

We always have so much fun together! Laughter, even in the worst of times, has been a huge part of our relationship. Life gets boring without seeing the humor of everyday living and we often laugh at ourselves, which is even better. I really cherish this quality in our relationship.

I know that the hurt was not caused intentionally, on either part. I know that he knows this, too, even though it may be difficult right now to feel it because my actions hurt him so much. I also know that he would not say or do things to intentionally hurt me, as he knows the same about me. So we will learn to accept that about each other and in this acceptance, we will re-build trust.

I am grateful for the love, as I know that not everyone is blessed to love and be loved. It is a precious gift and the greatest gift of this relationship and I thank and praise God for it!

I am grateful for the learning that working through our past troubles moved us through. The struggles moved us closer to one another, opening up our hearts each time to give a little more to one another and to openly receive love. This is a wonderful thing that I am looking forward to experiencing again when we resolve these issues we are facing now.

The trouble we are having will help each of us to examine the fear within ourselves and examine our insecurities; both insecurities about ourselves and about our relationship. Working through fear brings us closer in love. This I know for sure, so it will only strengthen our relationship in the end.

I am happy that we look at things differently, as it is the beauty of our differences that makes our relationship so special. It is precisely this point that caused the disagreement, so I celebrate that fact with the knowing that we always find a way to see, understand and accept each other, because of knowing that we do see things differently. We never get bored with one another! That is great and should be celebrated!

I am confident that we both will find forgiveness and acceptance as the key to building a deeper and even better relationship with one another. By forgiving and accepting, we will gain trust. The trust will help us heal. Too many relationships end because one party is not willing to do the work that it takes to forgive and accept the other. Many people give up, but I know we will not give up, as our relationship is worth it.

I am confident that, because of the nature of our deep spiritual connection, we will work it out. It will be OK. I will be OK as will he.

So today is the beginning of a new step forward in our relationship; even though we may not be wearing the appropriate shoes at the moment. I think we must have on the wrong size and maybe we are wearing sandals in the beginning of this colder, fall weather. But I know that we will find the right type and size of shoes, with time, patience, listening, and most of all, love. Then we will step forward in our journey together, one step at a time, on to even more exciting places and corners of our relationship. That is definitely something to look forward to and the reason I am not giving up.